Monday, December 11, 2006

Borat Frat suit tossed (for the most part)

I saw the the Borat Frat boys (see earlier post) lost their attempt to get a TRO. This is not surprising. I mean, they were (allegedly) duped into making jackasses of themselves on camera "since it was being shown only in Europe [population 500+ million] and not America [population 300 million]." I can imagine the song "Cry me a river" being played in the background as the ruling came down.

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Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Lost moving to 10? Give me a break

I saw on CNN that ABC is reportedly moving the show Lost to 10 PM out of fear that American Idol will smash it in the ratings. I can't believe ABC, particularly having experienced that fallout of a fad show (Who Wants to Be a Millionaire) is so scared that American Idol Part 7 or whatever they are up to will continue to carry Fox for yet another season. Have some faith in your product. With a desperation move like that, it's no wonder their network has fallen so far out of favor. At least NBC has finally realized the only way they can carry Thursday night is with a two-hour comedy block. Of course, the fact NBC realized this only now with the return of Scrubs, almost seven years after Seinfeld went off the air and The Apprentice failed to recapture its beloved 18-49 audience in the 9-10 Thursday night timeslot, just goes to show these networks have no confidence in their abilities to draw a loyal audience. I predict Lost at 10 PM will be a bust and I can only hope they will return it to Wednesdays at 9 (or Tuesdays at 9) and hope they can salvage their misstep.

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Sunday, December 03, 2006

Considering going to law school? Read this first.

I've been wasting time as of late dispensing free advice to whoever listens. Sort of like those wackos on the street who proclaim the end is near. Although I have no regrets about my law school decision and will happily begin pursuing the legal love for learning post-bar in July, I offer these tid-bits of insight to those of you considering going to law school. If anything can be taken from this advice, it is to take (at least) a year off between undergrad and law school to make sure law school (or whatever graduate program for that matter) is the right decision.

Also, law school is nothing like it is on tv. If you are obsessed with helping people, you should consider social work and read no further. If helping people is not your major motivation, I offer you my free advice for what it's worth.

First, regardless of whether you go to a law school full-time or whether you find a 4-year extended program, you will be incurring a significant amount of debt (average is $100k). This should be your primary consideration assuming you are older than the average 24-year-old student (or even if you are right out from undergrad). Second, you should be aware that the average salary coming out of most law schools (top tiers down to fourth tiers) is roughly $40k, and these are generally public sector jobs.

Regarding legal salaries, most lawyers make a comfortable living. The average salary (overall) is high, but this is because of the disparity in salaries between the lawyers at big firms and the lawyers everywhere else. The top lawyers do start off making six figures to start. These are the students who are in the top 10% (to top 25-50% at a top-tier school) of graduates of the law school class. If you work hard during your first two years of law school and earn your way into this category, that's great. Keep in mind that the average billable hours you will be putting in to ensure that salary will be about 2000/year. This translates to a 40-hour work week, but since you can't bill 8 hours in an 8-hour day, this means you probably are putting in 60-70+ hours a week. After working this lifestyle for about seven years, you may make partner and your work hours may shift, but your responsibilities become tremendously client-centered. I don't mean to tell you all of this as a discouragement, but big firm life (in most big firms) is not for most people. Of course, if you aren't in this top of your class, you will not have these options to worry about.

As only about the top 10% (with some exceptions) will get the kind of work described in the above paragraph, that leaves 90% of the class battling for the rest of the legal jobs. Most fall somewhere among the public sector, which has salaries starting between $30-50k/year depending on your state. The hours are better, but the graduating debt is the same, which means you will be paying it off for much longer. Add this into whatever debt you already owe (credit cards, mortgage, etc.) and you will see why I said the first consideration must be debt. If money isn't an issue, that's fine, but you will probably still need to take a long look at whether you think law is for you and what you will be able to do with your J.D.

As far as what law schools want, they really don't care so long as you can pay the bill. Admissions are calculated through a complex formula of percentages based on GPA and LSAT score - if anyone tells you anything else, they are probably misleading you.

If you decide to pursue law school, are accepted, and can afford it (and even if you can't, some lender will give you the $50k/year expenses that it will cost you), go full-time and see how the chips fall when the first semester grades come out. If you do great, great; if not, you should make a serious consideration for cutting your losses. If my point is not clear by now, it is this: law school isn't for everybody and some people embark on the legal path without really thinking it out fully.

In the alternative, and if it's simply resume enhancement you are seeking, I would recommend pursuing an MBA program (they usually are much cheaper and easier to complete around a work schedule). If your goal is just to find a better job with perhaps some better security, an MBA may provide you that option. Your job may pay for an MBA program; if not, there are obviously educational credits of which your accountant may point out. Regardless of the degree you pursue, most employers are looking for someone who can handle themselves well and have a sense of respect and responsibility. You don't need a law degree to find one.

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Friday, December 01, 2006

Cell phones in the bathroom

I find there is a difference between bothersome and annoyance, and while the use of cell phones in the bathroom doesn't really bother me, I do find it particularly annoying. What possibly motivates people to carry on a conversation while they are taking a dump? I can sort of excuse it if they are a doctor on call, but in that case, they would get a page first anyway. I'm only assuming that the toilet-talkers are talking to someone they care absolutely nothing about since I find it pretty disrespectful. So you think my conversation is crap? Tell me, don't actually do it. Geez.

I try and flush the surrounding toilets and urinals and otherwise make a lot of noise so maybe the person on the other end realizes he or she is being crapped on and should opt to call back later.

On the scale of annoying places to talk on your cell phones in public, the bathroom cell phone call probably ranks first, followed by the people who answer during a movie to tell whatever insignificant person who is calling that they are watching a movie. These people aren't doctors, and consequently, nothing can possibly be so life-altering that the phone call must be taken right then right there. That goes double for the calls while you are taking a dump.

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Thursday, November 23, 2006

Borat movie not as funny the second time

I was at home for Thanksgiving and one of my friends had not seen the Borat movie so we went to see it. Having had time to absorb all the media attention the movie has gotten, I can safely reevaluate my review and present a more objective stance. First, it definitely has funny scenes and they remain funny the second time around. Second, the movie appears much more staged than I noticed the first time around. Third, knowing how they set up many of the "interviews" made it less funny. So, it does not have the retention humor of a movie like What about Bob or Austin Powers, and I reiterate my earlier review that it is a well done satire.

That being said, it isn't that good a movie, but the subtitles certainly make it funnier. I rewatched the scene with the Chi Psi brothers, who appeared even stupider the second time around, which reinforces my idea that they absolutely have no case unless Fox studios simply has a moron for a lawyer who drew up their release form.

Catch the movie on HBO if you've heard anything about the movie, otherwise you will be overly set-up for disappointment. It's been overhyped at this point. By the time it gets to HBO, you can sit back and enjoy it for what it is - an extended bit from the Ali G show, which has exceptionally funny scenes surrounded by lots of shots of him driving around in an ice cream truck.

Conclusion: Funny movie, it can't be in the top funniest movies of all time since it doesn't have much repeatable humor, but it certainly is the funniest movie out this year or in the past few years.

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Monday, November 20, 2006

Heroes: Chapter Nine – Homecoming Review

Now the review of chapter nine of the Heroes saga, Homecoming. Homecoming manages to show almost every one of who we’ve met so far into 42.5 minutes of jam-packed action, minus the action (until the last 10 minutes anyway). I will say that this episode is pretty good. It appears that the next episode will be some sort of flashback episode, so it may just get taped and I’ll watch it after finals. My review, complete with spoilers and inserted commentary, follows.

Setting aside the fact they announced (via a flyer) the homecoming queen during the day instead of at halftime of the game (but hey, maybe that’s how they do it at Texas high schools, and for purposes of the storyline, it is largely irrelevant anyway), Homecoming starts off by showing that Peter’s brother is a moron. Realizing this, Isaac’s not-so-super-ex-girlfriend Simone realizes that she has to tell Peter that his brother splattered the painting he was looking for a couple weeks ago (and it's how we know from last week that Claire's father knew the date and time his daughter was supposed to be killed). Simone brings Peter to Isaac’s studio and tells him what happened. She then hands him a photograph of the painting, which was a painting of Peter lying in front of a high school banner shortly after 8 PM (that night actually). Simone tips him to the location of the high school, and Peter calls Hiro to tell him to get to Odessa.

Hiro’s friend answers the phone and announces that they are in Midland, a mere 20 miles from Odessa. Since they are still mourning the sudden death of Hiro’s girlfriend-hopeful waitress, however, Hiro obviously was unsuccessful in preventing her death. On another hand, a different waitress appears to remember Hiro, and the writers clumsily but craftily avoid any mention of the waitress’s death (meaning they could try and Sixth Sense surprise us in a future episode). Peter announces that he’s going to hop on the next flight to Odessa, and from New York to Midland/Odessa on a Friday, he’ll probably pay an arm and a leg or just flap his arms and avoid the stand-by line. In either case, he makes it there in record time, and his cab takes him right to the café, where Hiro’s friend is still waiting patiently. Peter introduces himself and announces that his power is not that of a flyer, but that of a copycat – he absorbs other heroes’ powers, a regular Xerox hero.

And since the show is about homecoming and saving the cheerleader, we realize that her super healing powers also must give her fists of fury since she is able to knock out in a single punch to the eye the annoyingly jealous homecoming queen cheerleader runner-up. Her father grounds her, forgetting that a real father would not do so without sufficient cause on the day of her coronation. Her nerdy future-Dr. McDreamy savior helps her escape from her balcony prison and he whisks her away to her fated dance as her mother watches the whole event transpire from the living room window. The Agent, clouded by his emotions, realizes she has run off and chides the mother for her deviant behavior.

On her way in, Claire-bear bumps into the Xerox hero and engages in a short and pleasant conversation, just long enough (in the world of foreshadowing) for him to absorb some of her healing powers. Realizing that he may be trespassing, he steps outside and sees he is standing in front of the steps of the picture to which he had taken from Simone. He hears screaming and we see that Sylar has mistaken Claire for the non-mutant cheerleader. Sylar does the touch of death and kills the wrong girl. Claire, not thinking to stick around and pretend to be dead, gets up, and Sylar realizes his error. She runs, Sylar follows, Xeroxman bumps into her again, and he helps her escape. The two wrestle to the ground and somehow or another fall off the roof, and if neither were mutants, they would both be dead. The picture comes true.

Having absorbed enough of Claire’s power to survive the fall, however, Peter awakens to find Sylar disappeared and Claire is okay. Dazed, he sits there and waits for the cops to show up. Unfortunately for Peter, he is New York Yankee in a Texan court, and being found covered in blood, within minutes of the crime being reported and the body of a dead cheerleader still warm only a few hallways away, the police don't have too much more investigating to do. Hopefully he can absorb Niki/Ikin’s insanity defense ability and attempt to avoid the capital murder charges that will be brought against him but we won’t have to worry about that storyline just yet since all we see is the arrest.

Claire and her stepfather unite and she’s about to tell him her secret. The last scene is of Hiro teleporting to the café six months earlier and re-introducing himself to the waitress. Next week’s episode is going to be set six months before and thus we’ll get a reprise of the development of some of the characters and their power.

Other storylines:
You see Ikin/Niki at target practice. The computer kid and his walk-thru-any-wall father manage to avoid to generate any reasonable articulable suspicion while stopping for gas, but the computer kid runs away in order to teach his well-intentioned but criminally prone father a lesson. After his pop catches him at a bus stop, the computer kid reveals his knowledge about Niki/Ikin’s psychotic break. To his credit, he says that his mom is sick and with the same gusto as Tim Allen delivers the “never give up, never surrender” line of Galaxy Quest, he convinces his father to go back for his better half. It’s too bad he can’t predict the future, though, because he would know that Ikin will be packing heat. In either case, the computer kid's logic is no better than a computer's, and he decides not to tell his father that he already called his mom to tip her off where they were. Ikin (supposedly) snipes D.L. at the end of the episode. Maybe the bullet passes right through him, we'll have to wait and see.

Professor Suresh also continues his quest to figure out his role in the show and meets the dream catcher who tells him that it is he can provide explanations for questions people seek answers to, at cost. Suresh decides to continue his father’s work and miraculously cracks his father’s computer password using the name of his sister. The computer (Cerebro) finds that his father had already compiled a list of all the mutants and now Suresh can fulfill his role as Professor X and unite them.

Sylar is caught by the Agent's assistant who has some sort of Jean Grey mind-controlling power that convinces Sylar to go to sleep. With the help of the Hatian, they take him into their custody.

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Monday, November 13, 2006

Heroes: 7 minutes to midnight review

As compared to last week, I think tonight's Heroes episode, "Seven Minutes to Midnight" set up well next week's culmination episode. The description on the tv.com site is a little misleading, so I'll give my summary.

Professor Suresh (formerly "Professor X") goes to India to intern his father's ashes. While there, he discovers that he had a younger sister who died when he was very young and that he also seems to have a hidden power, some sort of lucid dreaming ability. This discovery will undoubtedly restore his faith in his father's genetic research and bring him back to New York. It also means that the list of heroes has increased a little bit more.

Isaac and the Suresh's "NYC Neighbor" (who also appears to now have some sort of undetermined mutant ability, perhaps akin to an attraction to Indian men) are seen in the Agent's care. To a certain degree, it appears the writers are attempting to have us believe the Agent's efforts in this genetic research project are for the greater good and that he is really just a good guy deep down. Perhaps this is and will turn out to be the case, but for now, I will stick with my misdirection theory. Somehow he has determined that in an alternate timeline, the cheerleader dies "tomorrow night" at her homecoming dance and he is perilous to stop it as the evil mutant Silar is bent on destroying all other mutants, including his daughter. I question how he is unable to prevent this from happening, and can only hypothesize that he must be playing both sides and has much more to his character than the show has developed. In the tv world, this sort of misdirection means that he will probably die and warn Peter et al. that Silar is the real enemy.

The only other storyline that gets developed in this episode is that of Hiro, his sidekick, and a new mutant (who was also among Isaac's paintings). As means of introduction, this new mutant (nickname TBD) is a waitress (also in Texas) whose memory has become greater than George Costanza's in The Abstinence. While Hiro and the waitress are trading Japanese lessons for toast, a "dark" character, possibly Silar, displays (for the audience) the ability to move a cup toward him without any strings (a trick John Travolta's character did with a pencil in Phenomenon).

As Hiro goes to the bathroom, the waitress pauses her flirting to open a can of peas, and is subsequently killed by (presumably) the "dark" character because he ordered carrots. Crushed, Hiro decides to go back in time and stop it. At this point it was 9:54, so I knew he wasn't coming back this episode, but a quick shot to a picture on the wall (changed from an earlier pan of the same picture) shows that he at least went back in time to some point and interacted with her. The preview for next week has Hiro in it again, so he makes his triumphant return then (I'm hoping it's going to be like Dennis Hopper's return in the end of My Science Project, but that may be asking for too much).

There was also some continuation of the storyline with the cop who can hear thoughts and his troubles at home as well as the plot about the Radioactive Man who premiered last week in Nothing To Hide (see last week's review). Unsurprisingly, the radioactive man escaped from FBI custody and blew up a car in the process. For punching his boss (last week), the cop gets a month suspension without pay.

I thought this episode was much better than the last couple weeks and I think it's because it kept the various storylines under ten (three and half actually), which left adequate time to develop them a little better than in some of the previous episodes. I question the need to introduce yet another mutant, but if they are going to continue with making Hiro (as compared to Peter) the main character, I guess they have to give him a girlfriend as well.

Next week's episode promises to be the episode I've been waiting for where it all comes together. The previews have been promising as much for the past couple weeks so I'm not holding my breath. On a more optimistic note, however, I don't know how next week can't be the culmination of this first half/third of this season, and on this casuistic logic, I'm positive it will resolve some of the unification issues that have been slowly developing, as well as advance the overall storyline.

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Thursday, November 09, 2006

Borat frat suit? hahahahahahaha

This is the funniest thing I have seen yet: Frat Sues Borat. The write-up there tends to contradict what was said in this write up, but obviously I'm not giving too much weight to what some reporter says. I'm sure the actual details/complaint of this "John Doe" suit will be on Smoking Gun's website soon enough.

Of course, this is all monday morning quarterbacking and just an unresearched editorial opinion, but the fact that these clowns have brought suit against the movie producers is just funny. As I have previously discussed when I pointed out how ridiculous their OWN BROTHERS made themselves (and implicitly, their fraternity) look, the Chi Psi brothers involved in this suit face several uphill battles. Now I haven't seen the contract, and will not bother to chime in on my thoughts beyond this post, but setting aside the misleading nature of the whole thing, they signed it (probably without really reading what they signed) and they accepted payment for it. I doubt they are challenging the contract itself, so that means they are challenging the making of the contract and additionally trying to go beyond the four corners of the contract to explain why they took the money.

I suspect that had they read what they signed, they would have seen a rather specific contract explaining away most of what they probably were told (probably quite generally and quickly) and further, they probably agreed to some sort of arbitration or non-recourse by signing and accepting payment. So they signed it without really reading it, took the money, and did the interview. Now whether alcohol was involved or not raises some issues, and the sneaky nature of the whole thing raises some other issues, but I think they would have to be pretty drunk to win on that point and the fraud argument seems like a tough row to hoe also. Wasn't there a case about someone who promised to sell their farm after having a few too many drinks? Obviously some lawyer(s) think they will have a great payday with this one so there must be some merit with the fraud defense.

If anything, this case serves as a lesson to read what you sign and receive payment for. And maybe to watch what you say if a camera is on you. At best it will wind up settling as a nuisance claim through arbitration or mediation, but I would love for an opinion to be written on this one just to exploit further the absurdity of this whole thing. In either case, it's still pretty funny. Take my free opinion for what it's worth... Read more!

Vilsack announces his candidacy

I saw this "alert" on CNN this morning: "Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack will run for the White House in 2008, a source close to the governor tells CNN. He is the first prominent Democrat to announce his candidacy." I'm pretty sure Biden was the first proiminent Democrat to announce he was running for president, and in the speculation bin, we can toss in Obama, Clinton, Kerry, and Edwards. With the Dems in control of both houses now, we can watch with certainty how the Republicans will now schedule various committee meetings on days when the senator-seeking-the-presidency hopefuls will be campaigning about. The more interesting question is how many people will fall for this overused tactic. I doubt Clinton will get the go ahead, but I would like to see Obama go for VP since I don't think he quite has enough pull to win the whole thing. Where is JC Watts when the Republicans need him?

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Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Heroes: Nothing to Hide review

I watched Heroes 7th episode, "Nothing to Hide" last night, and I have to say the show is losing me again. Apparently they have shifted back into character-cross mode, which I'll admit has merit to the extent that it must be building toward their mid-season or season finale (assuming a 24 episode season, next week's episode should complete the first of the three "acts" of a drama's season-premise). On the other hand, and more to the point, however, NOTHING HAS HAPPENED. Now, I can't say too much because Lost in a lot of ways has the same problems at times, but unlike Lost, Heroes just isn't advancing the plot fast enough, in my opinion anyway.

Take last night's episode. Setting aside the fact that these new mutations have absolutely no basis in genetic evolutionary theory (e.g., guy who can walk through walls' kid being able to manipulate computers with his hands or the radioactive man), I just am unable to grasp how this merry band of mutants is going to be able to set aside their whiney, self-promoting personalities and unite for good. They have the flying politician brother and Niki/Ikin trying to band together, and they seem to be able to cross Hiro with just about all the central characters now, and next week the Agent is supposed to meet with the painter to talk about the cheerleader. And on top of that, the little kid has powers (as suspected) and apparently he has known about Ikin all along.

Now, maybe this will change over the next couple episodes, but I don't think that it will. This show is taking the brooding, reluctant hero theme to a whole other level. Accepting that, I want to see some real action. The play has been set up, it's time to move to the next act. I thought episode seven (last night's episode) was going to do it, now I get to hold my breath for another week to see if episode eight does the trick. I will give this show some credit for being able to get me to continue watching it week in and week out, but I know I can't be the only one who finds this show getting increasingly slower-paced. Hopefully next week adequately shifts gears and brings the show up to the speed to which I hope it can top out at. If not, 24 will be on opposite it soon enough.

Regarding cross-over powers and the ability to adapt on another writer's creativity (without stepping on toes too much), the kid's ability to manipulate computers and machines was done first in D.A.R.Y.L., but the kid there was a robot, and I don't think the powers are exactly the same, so I will give a plus for creativity. How that power (and walking through walls, or Radioactive Man's abilities) fit on the evolutionary ladder, however, continues to elude me.

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Election day

I voted this morning, and on the way back, I must have heard fifty ads from both incumbents and electorate-hopefuls. We'll see if my earlier election prediction comes true, but at this point, I will go as far as to say that the majority of the country (as far as national elections go) will be in favor of the non-incumbent (75%). Read more!

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Borat movie a brilliant satire and laugh out loud comedy

I saw the Borat movie last night - it had to be the funniest movie I've seen in five years. It is a brilliant satire on a lot of different levels. And it's a comedy, so you have to take some, if not all of the comments with a grain of salt (e.g., Cohen gets a lot of regular American people to expose some of the most bigoted, racial, anti-Semitic, homophobic things you'll ever cringe at). Thus, there are definitely some scenes that you will feel bad about laughing at and others you will just sit and watch in stunned silence, but the situational humor is unlike anything that I have ever seen. As George Carlin says in his opening bit, "if I haven't offended all of you at least once by the time I'm done, I haven't done my job." So, unlike at least four of the people whose faces upon leaving told me that they were not ready for this movie, be prepared to be offended at some things, if not more than some things. Overall, the movie is laugh out loud funny. If you don't like satires like Dogma, you probably won't like this movie either, so don't complain if you go to see it and are then disappointed.

In my rankings of all-time movie comedies, some of them include Austin Powers, Dumb and Dumber, Meet the Parents, Major League, Old School, and Road Trip, to name a few - Borat certainly falls within the top ten or fifteen. There's nothing so great about it that justifies seeing it in the theater (as compared to an action movie), but if you just need 82 minutes of solid laughter, this movie is for you. I can't wait to see the uncut DVD version just to see what got edited out.

Also, thank god I didn't go to the University of South Carolina. What a bunch of tools. Way to represent your Chi Psi fraternity, clowns. Idiots. Damage Control my ass. I'm sure that their contractual releases are legally gold (i.e., untouchable), so good luck with your fraudulent inducement defense.

Update: The Chi Psi frat suit has commenced; my two cents about it can be found here.

Funniest scenes: the chicken escaping on the subway and the bear growling at the kids running up to their ice cream van. And the bear head in the fridge was funny too (esp. given the context that it was shown after Borat was told that the bear ran away).

Here are a couple of reviews that give fairly representative reviews:
Ty Burr, Kazakh it to me, Boston Globe, Nov. 3, 2006.
Joel Siegel, Review: 'Borat' -- Offensive, Juvenile and Very, Very Funny, Nov. 3, 2006.

This one, not so much: Edward Douglas, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, Oct. 26, 2006.

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Tuesday, October 31, 2006

CBS thwarts my time wasting efforts again

For the past two weeks, I have been spending inordinate amounts of my free time editing an article for publication. For you editors out there, I will (in very short order) be posting my comments on the bluebook system in an effort to try and standardize some of these citations (e.g., Westlaw, Blogs, NYSE Listing Manual, SEC stuff, to name a few). So after finally finishing this article, my nights are a little more free (or as free as they could be given that now I have two weeks of back work to catch up on).

Anyway, I had some free time now and thought I would spend it watching Shark, since I didn't watch it in real time because I was sick Thursday night and didn't bother to record it since I figured it would be online. Needless to say, CBS's Innertube once again blew it by not posting the latest episode of Shark, a complaint I discussed briefly last week and incorporate into this entry by reference. They did post the series premiere, which is fine if I hadn't already seen it, but the show isn't that good that I'm going to go out of my way to watch it Thursday nights. If it's not online, I would go as far as to say it's losing mass viewership.

My suggestion is that CBS hire some sort of internet consultant (and I'm sure there has to be some firm that does that by now) that can track real time visitors who are watching the shows online. As I have previously discussed, it's only a matter of time before these networks and media giants use the internet more effectively. Through this internet consultant/tracking system, they can use more effectively the combined Neilson-online viewer rating system and guage exactly how well a show or advertising campaign is doing. CBS's continued failure to pounce on this technology and, in effect, doing the online thing half-assed, just shows that their problems with the Katie Couric decision are just the tip of the iceberg. And now with Bob Barker leaving, how will that affect the ratings game? And, perhaps more importantly, who will host the Price is Right, Richard "Don't typecast me as Tool Time's Al Boreland" Karn?

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Monday, October 30, 2006

Here's one to think about

If you're looking for the Heroes review of "Better Halves", click here.

Yahoo's homepage features some sort of open question mechanism whereby anonymous users can post questions and other users post responses. I can't explain it much more simply than that. So if you wanted to know how to get a grease stain out of a shirt and didn't know that soap or dishwashing soap works (not to mention bleach or your regular laundry detergent), you can post that question and people will seemingly respond. Google has a similar feature, as do probably most sites.

Anyway, I was going on the Internet just now and saw that one of the "featured" questions asked "Anyone know how to make a space ship out of cardboard boxes for a 6 year old?" Now, I didn't bother to click on the answers until just now to write this entry, but my immediate thought was (and remains), why would you ask this? First, you can tape boxes together and make it look like a house and call it a rocket and a six year old won't really know the difference (you can always say it was a rocket from the 40s). The one person who did respond suggested going to Sears and asking for a refrigerator box.

But more to the point: why wouldn't this user simply do a yahoo or google search for the answer? I'm sure more than one person has posted a suggestion or how to on their website or blog. You could always search for the Halloween costumes on college humor and I'm sure you can see how they did it out of beer boxes or something along those lines. But, I guess if you didn't think of using the Internet search engines first, you can always take the easy way out and post a question.

My Heroes Review of Better Halves:
I also saw Heroes tonight; I don't think I will write more on it later because I am extremely busy this week, but my initial impression is that I was not impressed. As one of the earlier commentator-posters had correctly predicted, Professor X's neighbor turns out to be a spy for the man (the cheerleader's father, the Agent). Tonight's Heroes' episode "Better Halves" focused mostly on Niki/Ikin and her continued delve into a psychotic break. Maybe they finally killed her off, but I doubt that's the case. There was some meandering with Hiro and his friend and Peter and the stoner artist, but both were pretty much minor stories this week. We also meet Niki/Ikin's husband who at least attempts to be a good guy (although probably not in the eyes of the law). And so the show continues its cheerleader storyline (as well as reverting back to the 22 Short Films about Springfield method of storytelling), we even got a heartfelt, yet deceptively false (and yes, predictable) look into Claire-bear's bio-parents. At least she's beginning to suspect that her agent dad isn't quite the Major Dad like the one on Jericho.

Regardless of this so-so episode (probably 3rd or 4th down the list if I were ranking them so far), next week's preview seems much better as it appears the Heroes, for better or worse, will be "exposed" in various ways. Noting that tonight's is the sixth episode and I had originally gave this show a six-episode run, I will also say that Heroes has captured my attention enough to merit another seven episode commitment (half-season). I'm not going to be quite as generous as NBC in saying that I will give it a full season run (yet), but I also wouldn't be that surprised if that winds up being the case. We'll see which way next week proves me then.

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Friday, October 27, 2006

Heroes: Review of Hiro's

I got to watch this episode on NBC's "Rewind" - at least with NBC's version of online digital media, the commercials are the same volume as (if not lower than) the show (cf. CBS's innertube). Thumbs up to NBC for that. And the commercials are only 10 seconds, leaving them free to continue their product placement endeavors without major incident. Speaking of incidents, I appreciate the acknowledgement of a "rift" to combat my earlier complaint of the philosophical paradox previously discussed.

The whole memory erasing thing has me a little confused; one of my friends says it's akin to being able to steal their powers somehow and the real enemy is a conglomerate of them all. I don't know if he's right or not. In either case, tonight's episode "Hiro's" continued last week's coming together theme. The best scene was putting Hiro and Nathan (the other flying brother) together in the first few minutes.

I'm not sure if "there're" is a proper contraction or not (subtitle reference), but that's just my editorial grammar sense kicking in. The struggle between Niki and Ikin continues, and it appears Ikin can come and go as she wants. I'm still not impressed with her character and it's storyline but maybe she's an integral character to the long-term plot. Good to see the cop who can hear thoughts is using them to advance his relationships; according to a recent study, this use of power is at least realistic. Now all he has to do is learn to control it; at least Mel Gibson's power was limited to women's thoughts.

The guy who can block out memories - similarly; I'm not exactly sure what their end game is, but at least things are happening. Not sure why they are arbitrarily taking some long term and some short term memory, but I'm sure they will explain it. It appears that the heroes' powers get stronger as they come together, so there's another possible glimpse into the future. I'm not sure if a new episode is on next week or not but I don't think we're quite into the rerun zone yet so maybe we'll get that sixth episode in so I can officially concede that I will continue watching it a little while longer.

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Sunday, October 22, 2006

This week's Shark not on innertube? CBS blows

CBS, despite getting early positive reviews for their online digital media, struck out this week as my unusually hectic Thursday schedule last week once again precluded me from watching Shark in so-called "real time." Upon going to CBS's Innertube site today, the newest episode was not there, hence my headline.

As I initially came upon the show online (see Shark pilot review), it seems to be now that online is the only time I can find to watch it. I usually have a spare 42 minutes or so on the weekend, and in part because the show has some appeal and witty, snap dialogue, I can waste some of my time on this show. When the internet guy or girl at cbs forgets to do their job, however, it makes me have to do productive work in the alternative, which defeats the point of trying to take a break. Therefore, I'll assume this week's Shark episode "In the Grasp" sucked, so I didn't miss anything.

All of the episodes of Jericho were there, so if you're looking for a show not unlike Heroes that is starting to develop more quickly, you can watch that one. Last week's episode, Federal Response, finally pitted the two central characters, Jake and Hawkins, in somewhat juxtapositioning roles, but it worked well. At least we know now what I had suspected, and that was that Jake has some sort of government ties. How that plays into Hawkins' plans remain to be seen and we'll see if they can capture my attention past the remaining two episodes on its six episode stint.


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Thursday, October 19, 2006

Report: Stingray elevates war to next level

For immediate release:

PACIFIC OCEAN - Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice took a firm stance Thursday, stating that under no circumstances would the U.S. and its allies tolerate the increased insurgency of the Stingray Republic. "The key for peace is for the stingrays to understand their place in the ocean," Rice stated to a crowded room of environmentalists, Australians, PETA members, and the premier of Uzbekistan. The latest attack on a Florida longshoreman reflects the increased bravado these stingrays have developed in recent weeks.

The latest attack does not bode well for stingray-human relations as the increase in reported skirmishes has already put U.S. installments throughout the Pacific on high alert. The most recent attack, says Rice, is an "obviously calculated response due to non-military personnel taking matters into their own hands." Rice refers to the 275% increase in "RSK" (random stingray killings) that began shortly after environmentalist and former Ambassador to the Stingray Republic Steve Irwin's tragic death last month. It is believed that the attacks have been directed by the Atlantic Stingray Sub-Alliance (ASS).

Rice condemns the ASS's futile attacks in light of the Stingray Premier's statement last week that Irwin's death was a tragic mistake by unsanctioned rebel forces. Nevertheless, the Premier has reiterated his support for the stingray insurgency. "The Stingray's Republic of the Western Pacific will not stand idly by as our brothers continue to be slaughtered at the hands of the oppressors," reports the Premier's U.N. Ambaassador. "Short of complete withdrawal from our ocean boundaries, we cannot affirmatively state when these attacks will end." Talks between the Pacific and Atlantic fronts are expected to continue next week. Read more!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Heroes: Collision Review

Not much to say about last night's episode of Heroes, Collision, other than it was great. This was the type of episode I expected from the preview and the previous three episode's setup, and I thought it was very well done. The lines between the good and bad heroes are being drawn, I suppose, is one way of putting it, and "Collision" began to set forth how they will all come together. It's what I expected the show to be about all along, and I am glad it finally (albeit convolutedly) has begun to do so.

Some assumptions: The Hiro 20XX appearance was pretty cool. Assuming he must learn how to time travel at ease, I'm surprised he wouldn't have appeared to himself first. I guess he has to set the various reactive chains in motion somehow [paradox issues disregarded].

Ikin's mutation isn't much more than what I have previously predicted and discussed, something of a takeoff of The Dark Half, Secret Window, or Hide and Seek. Her multiple personality cannot realistically be construed as anything but a pychotic break. Nice try.

I see by next week's preview the Congressional Flying brother flies away, so I am left to wonder now whether he is going to fly back to his brother and side up with them or continue waffling about. I also predict that Hiro and his sidekick will meet up with Niki/Ikin's son and somehow band together.

Comment on the Cheerleader's eggshell skull: She can heal almost instantaneously without any scarring but she falls onto a branch (which seemed pretty long) and it impales her skull? I guess that can happen, but it seems pretty fishy. A neck break maybe, but it's not like he shot her with a bow and arrow or anything.

Conclusion: Save the cheerleader and save the world. I guess they figure she can eat the bomb or something and survive. We will find out next week how she can amazingly get out of a crushed car only to have what I can only assume would be crushed legs grow back/unflatten out.

Addendum: I will write on this one of these days, but I noticed that the press for this garbage disposal (InSinkErator) continues to make headlines, as evidenced by CNN's latest reporting of it. I am sure the name would have been visible in the preview and somehow they have associated the fictional television injury with real life, and this warped interpretation assumes this would translate into negative sales and bad press out. Who but a nitpicking audience would question the type of garbage disposal that would cause that kind of damage? Hopefully the summary judgment gets posted so I can get a good laugh. Realistically though, I am sure their sales have seen a considerable jump since the press continues to feed this story, and until I see a reason to otherwise, I am assuming this is a win-win type of lawsuit for them (the merits of which are beyond the scope of this entry). This plug is free. [Your ad can go hear for a nominal price].

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Monday, October 09, 2006

Heroes: One Giant Leap review

At least the preview for next week’s Heroes’ episode seems to indicate the show’s main characters are finally going to start coming together, sort of a Lady in the Water type of unification. Spoilers again abound in my review of tonight's episode, so if you haven’t seen it already, you may want to check back another time.

I’m sure this episode is on NBC’s website somewhere so why anyone would want to download a torrent for it is beyond me; I looked around for the full video feed to provide the link, but was unable to find it after several quick glances. Unlike CBS’s innertube concept or ABC’s equivalent, NBC’s online video service hasn’t quite figured it that accessibility and, consequently, widespread use first begin with some sort of clear, distinct link to help advertise it. For a company so far ahead in some respects, how can it be so far behind in such basics?

This week’s Heroes episode, One Giant Leap, asks the viewers to ponder the question whether the future is pre-determined or can be altered. I will get to that momentarily.

The review: Rather than go into a long dissertation about how each character was developed a little more in this episode, I will summarize it by saying that “One Giant Leap” begins to pit the good characters against the bad ones, and introduces the seemingly evil character, some sort of Flash/Shadow-eque mind controller (Sylar). It also develops (a little) the idea that these genetic mutations are shared among familial lines (which supports the idea that the Niki/Ikin's son, as well as her mother-in-law have some "power"). It also strikes more at the idea that the heroes, by either the Professor X’s late father’s research endeavor or the Agent’s knockoff version, are being pulled together to serve the greater good, i.e., advancing the central storyline. This episode tended to do more of the same as to what the first two episodes did, and next week’s preview suggests the initial coming together and realization that more than one of them have such powers, so I think next week's episode would be worth watching moreso for that one. Overall "One Giant Leap" was okay; if you liked episode 2, you will probably like episode 3 as well. Read on or click here for my rational prediction of the overall plot of the next four episodes.

Things I liked: The evil characters seem to have it together a little bit more than the good characters. I’m sure this will change. I will give credit for this shadow/mind-controlling evil mutant for creativity since I know I have seen parts of that somewhere, but can’t quite place where, so maybe it’s new, and I can defer to that assumption. I appreciated the car ad, which would obviously survive any online commercial cutting, and I will ignore my suspicion that renting a car at an airport with a foreign driver's license is not as easy as they made it seem (as well as my, perhaps erroneous, assumption that a Japanese worker like Hiro probably not have known how to drive a car in real life or ever had).

Things that defied sense: Cheerleaders at Chilicothe High School or wherever in Kansas they are from, sure love wearing their uniforms. As I pointed out last week, cheerleaders do not wear their uniforms unless they have to. I dated a cheerleader for a short while in high school and the reason for this is that the uniforms simply aren’t flattering. Only in bad movies (or in this case, fictional television programs) would the entire cheerleading squad go to a party wearing their uniforms.

I found the stereotype of the football player who “can’t take no” pretty appalling also. As I have repeatedly mentioned, I can only suspend disbelief so much. At least it looks like they are scrapping the entire high school storyline (which is good) since they can effectively “kill her off” and she can develop her secret identity elsewhere and everyone will assume she has died. I am premising this assumption, in part, on blind faith and also that her autopsy is being performed at one of the Agency’s labs. Of course she is shown driving the scumbag rapist into a wall, so hopefully she is pretending to be some sort of ghost. Also, the class president election coinciding with homecoming makes no sense. Maybe that’s how they do it in whatever fantasy high school these writers went to, but again, an ounce of research helps for a pound of suspended believability.

Things I didn’t like: Gob the mind-reading cop gets caught by the bad guys? I guess mutants aren’t telepathic. While I would be disappointed by killing off his character, it would show that a)they aren’t afraid to kill off characters, b)not all the good guys will make it, and c) it would be easier to forget their assumption that some random FBI agent can just hire an accused conspirator to come work with her, and give him a gun in the same fell swoop. I really am hoping he sticks around so he (not Hiro) becomes the comic relief of the show, but at the same time, I hate to Greg Grunberg be typecast as such (e.g., his character in Alias).

Next four episodes prediction (a.k.a. assumptions I am making to keep my suspended belief suspended):
I will completely suspend the whole destiny pre-determined or not debate. The show’s basic premise is that the powers have developed, largely concurrently, for some reason (assumedly to stop this bomb). No need to join in that whole debate since it’s better explained in any Philosophy 100 class.

Since I am being asked to set aside any disbelief in time travel, I will ignore the various philosophical paradoxes that the show has already created and dubiously questioned. Particularly, I am going to assume the following things have happened (as a nod to a college philosophy in film course I took). First, the stoner artist dies on or before November 8 by Sylar the evil guy. In actuality, it may or may not be the stoner artist, but the police assume it is. Hiro saw it, if he changes it, then why would he have teleported back and restarted the chain of events? One way to solve the paradox would be that Hiro (who somehow unlearned English as he tried calling the stoner artist) eventually meets up with the stoner artist to warn him. Knowing that he will teleport in, they somehow trick Sylar into thinking some other stoner artist is THE stoner artist. Or it’s someone else with powers.

Second, Hiro’s sidekick friend (who is enthralled that he meets his dream internet girl), realizes the paradox and when the police call his cell phone (it’s reasonable to think it was a cell phone they called), they are actually calling the friend somewhere in New York, who tells October 2 Hiro that he has been missing for five weeks. Having seen this attack and Senator-Elect Fly’s victory, this also means that there was some sort of attack/demolition on November 8, and Hiro mistakes this for the bomb and teleports back to close the loop.

I stand by my prediction that the bomb is the season finale or close to it if they are going for the whole 24 effect). I am also assuming that since something good worked out for the Senator-Elect Fly, this means he shortly turns evil (see last week's character portrayal for further analysis as to my point here). To balance the good and bad heroes, his brother stays good, sort of a whole Darth Vader-Luke type of thing.

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Sunday, October 08, 2006

The benefits of a Discover card

I don't have a Discover card, but a couple of my good friends do, and the story always seems to end up the same. Although Discover has a cash-back option, it has a somewhat limited use in terms of places that accept it. Specifically, I am talking about the numerous bars that do not accept Discover for whatever reason, and in my experience, many do not. As a result, it's become a running joke that my Discover card-toting friends often use this assumption and offer to pay, only to discover the Discover card has once again thwarted their good intentions, leaving the rest of us to pick up the tab. With the money you save by not starting a tab at a bar, it's no wonder they choose Discover. Just an observation before the NFC east games start up.

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Friday, October 06, 2006

Jericho: Four Horsemen review

I started to watch this week’s episode of Jericho, Four Horsemen before the Lost season premier but kept getting interrupted. Fortunately, CBS’s innertube came through for me, and I was able to watch the end of the episode. The online commercials’ volume continues to be annoying, but what can you do.

Four Horsemen dealt with the aftermath of the first potentially radioactive rainstorm after the bombs dropped. After the storm, the leaders of Jericho decide to split up and see how the rest of the world has fared. The rest of the town throws a giant picnic. Jake, who travels northward, discovers a couple of downed planes and confiscates the black box to determine what happened. With a little technological help, Jake is able to play the black box and filter out all of the background noise to discover a hidden message of hope for his ex-girlfriend. That hokiness aside, the recovery storyline continues to develop (albeit slowly), and next week’s preview makes it seem like the military presence will begin to be felt, so maybe the pace will finally start to pick up. So long as it doesn’t turn into a remake of The Stand, that will be fine by me. A few observations:

Observation 1: Hawkins continues to develop as a character who knows a lot more than he lets on. After all, who stores those kinds of weapons and whatever is in the barrel in a public storage facility? I suppose, as long as he pays his bill, they won’t rifle through his stuff. And why is he bricking up whatever was in the barrel?

Observation 2: The majority of the parents of the teenagers in Jericho are either dead or simply unable to control their ungrateful children. I find it hard to develop any respect for the one kid (Dale) who appears to have a thing for the popular girl when she hands him some stale crackers to eat. Gee, that’s the thanks after supposedly saving her from the radioactive rain? Her friends epitomize the saying, "with friends like those, who needs enemies?"

Observation 3: The electricity has gone out, but the beer is still cold, which is great for whatever beer company paid to advertise it– I would imagine that as product placement continues to develop in online media, more specific advertising will appear. If there was a specific beer that paid to be advertised, it didn't do a very good job. One potential problem with product placement advertising has already begun to surface, and I will save my commentary on this for another day. As long as it's not blatant like the Converse ads were in I, Robot, that will be fine by me.

Observation 4: Speaking of radioactive rain and their Geiger counter, the Jericho survivors seem to put a lot of faith into the ability of covering their face in case the Geiger counter indicated something bad rather than nothing. The joke about the filth being what’s left of Denver was kind of funny. Major Dad’s patience with his political adversary has also reached its limit, which is good since I find it hard to believe that kind of petty bickering would survive past a nuclear attack. Jericho's democratic government remains indefinitely suspended.

Observation 5: I counted seven bombs that went off, and putting my recollection of Hawkin’s map from last week’s episode, this means that they hit in Denver, Los Angeles, San Diego, Dallas, Atlanta, Chicago, and Philadelphia. The lamp obstructed my view to see if Seattle had been hit, and apparently it hadn’t been, and they are leaving for Heroes to save New York, since that city was apparently not a target in this show.

Conclusion: The show has begun to remind me somewhat of the Morlocks and the Elois from H.G. Wells’s The Time Machine. I still am not sure what the show is about other than maybe rebuilding a society, but hopefully it’s not as boring as that. And the kid discovers the missing train of supplies? Next thing you know they will develop a relationship between the IRS agent and the guy she was investigating (also Jake’s friend).

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Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Lost premiere: A Tale of Two Cities reaction

Far many more people, much more devoted to the show than I, will be writing their reactions and theorizing as to where the writers are going. Supposedly a lot of the loose strings will be tied up this season, and next week's preview hints at this starting to happen. Without having the exact inside track, I will simply post my reaction:

-Season 3 started off with a striking parallel to Season 2's opening scene, and we see how the idyllic city of the "others" had an instant interest in the snapping off of the airplane.
-jack's caretaker (whose name eludes me at the moment) bears a striking resemblance to desmond's girlfriend. perhaps this is her "bad twin" although I think that theory is just a red herring. perhaps not.
-given the paradise lost on the island, why did they let the french woman live all these years with no real assignment?
-and why is that ship filled with dynamite there? what was the name of that one again?
-henry gale's name is ben. seems ordinary enough.

Overall, I thought it was pretty good - the ending was kind of odd, but intriguing enough - it lends some support to the idea that they are already dead, but that's an odd theory as well. More than likely, they have some sort of Internet connection and the basic information she told him could have easily been found through a google search. (Obviously, she could have had any stack of paper and told him anything and he would have just believed him, and perhaps that was the point of the exercise. Realistically, she would also search myspace, and would find Dr. Jack Shephard and all of his friends there.

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Lost: Season 3 premiere & general expectations

The Lost season premiere, A Tale of Two Cities, airs tonight. Generally, and for this show in particular, I try and avoid reading anything about this show except for Entertainment Weekly's recap, mainly because this is the one show on television I enjoy watching unravel at its controlled pace. I also know that ABC's creative staff loves just throwing things out there for people to jump on, and I appreciate the misdirection, but have no interest in it.

From what I read, season 3 will start off tonight with a 6 episode stint and then return sometime after the superbowl to run to completion without any repeats. That is fine by me. Here are my predictions/expectations for this season (in no particular order):

-First 6 episodes - obviously will focus on escaping. I would imagine the rest of the group will be working with Sayid to get them back once Hurley returns.
-We will hear the backstory for how Locke lost the use of his legs
-We will hear at least two more Jack backstories (and probably 1 more Kate or Sawyer backstory)
-The french woman's backstory will be told
-maybe some hint at the others' backstory, but probably through eko
-at least one more major character will be killed off
-michael winds up back at the main camp "after feeling bad" but really because he fails to calculate correctly the heading
-more of desmond's backstory & how his fiance is searching for him. this back story may be accomplished through a parallel story, and I imagine it will be a well-written episode.

I watched the season 1 & 2 recap last week and noticed that fake Henry Gale planted the seeds of doubt into Locke, so I'm now operating on the assumption that he wanted him to stop pressing the button. So we'll hear some more about the consequences of no longer pressing the button.

That's it. Hopefully it's a good one.

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Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Jericho: Series Premiere & Fallout review

Quick review: Jericho has an interesting post-apocalyptic premise, multiple storylines, and is worth a shot. This show definitely should be on a 10 PM timeslot rather than 8 PM, at least for the hope that they can get into some darker concepts. Check it out online; it will keep your interest piqued for at least six episodes.

My pitch for watching it online: CBS’s innertube has once again permitted me the opportunity to watch another show after hearing one of my friends give me a two minute rundown of it and it seemed like one that had a lot of potential. Again, the commercials online jump up like five decibels, so be aware you will need to turn down your computer to compensate.

The plot: Imagine living in a small Midwestern town and off toward the West you see a mushroom cloud rising. The television goes off, phones stop working, and giant flying animals start dropping from the sky. Thinking in terms of parallels, think end of Terminator 3 meets the Postman 15 years before the movie took place and with a substantially better plot. Now ask yourself how long do you think it would take before civilized society resorts to its degenerate bases? How fast would panic set in, rioting and looting become commonplace, and marshal law become declared? And what if you had no idea whether the persons who would be in a position to restore order are even around to do so? Welcome to Jericho, the post-apocalyptic paradise of the New World.

The characters: Thirty-two year old Jake Green (Skeet Ulrich) is Jericho’s reluctant high school hero who has been away for five years. His explanation of where he has been varies depending on who he talks to, but given his rudimentary medical training, prowess with rigging dynamite, and ability to drive a bus as good as Sandra Bullock, it appears he probably had some military training. Jake’s Major Dad (probably better recognized as George Hearst on Deadwood) Gerald McRaney is the incumbent mayor of the quaint little town of Jericho. There are a bunch of side characters (Jake’s ex-girlfriend who, for television purposes, gets out of her car on a dark desert highway to examine some dead crows, a deaf girl, one or two other girls who have crushes on Jake, his mother, his adulterous deputy mayor brother, his brother's bartender lover who kind of looks like Jeri from one of the Survivor shows, his brother’s doctor wife, the mayor-hopeful, a rogue IRS agent, and a MacGyver-type ex-cop from St. Louis, Robert Hawkins (Lennie James), who appears to also have an impressive knowledge of ham radio, electronics, nuclear safety, and Morse code.

The story: I think Jericho has the potential of being either really good or really bad. On the one hand, these type of end-of-the-world type stories don’t tend to do that well, and many of the storylines are recycled. On the other, I don’t recall off-hand any recent shows or movies (and the only older ones I remember are the Postman and Mad Max), that examine how a small town would react to the blackout of news to the rest of the world and scattered knowledge that multiple nuclear or hydrogen bombs have been dropped in several US cities. Personally, I think the world would slip to chaos much faster than it appears to be doing on the show, but at least this show attempts to tell how one town will try to survive and rebuild, based on what little information they are getting.

My review: I think a show like this has more good potential than bad, but I’m just not sure where they are going with the story after two episodes. They are leaving a lot of loose strings that can be tied up in future episodes, but I think the pace needs to pick up a bit if they want to secure the ratings victory. I do like how they are trying to focus the story on Jake and his role in all of this, but after watching the first two shows back to back, I have to wonder whether this is turning into a Postman-type tv show, or will it become something better. If it turns out to be a story about delivering the mail or if Jake winds up to have known something about all of this and it's some sort of elaborate set up, the concept may be better off left to the silver screen.

Thus, the concept merits further review, but two episodes haven’t appeared to have brought out the specific storyline, so I have to wonder if they will do it in four more (obviously the general theme is “survival past the end of the world”). I’m hopeful, but haven’t been able to determine a better way to do it yet, so I will watch for another month and see how creative these writers really are.

Conclusion: If you don’t have a better show on the 8 PM Wednesday time slot or have some free internet time and a high speed connection, check out Jericho. If you wonder how your town would react in the face of a disaster that effectively isolates your town from the rest of the country, this show offers a look at one possible, optimistic scenario as to how our citizenry would react.

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Monday, October 02, 2006

Heroes: Don't Look Back review

According to the NBC promo, 25 million people watched the premiere, and it’s the show “everyone is reading about.” Here’s my take on this week’s episode: Don’t Look Back. Spoilers abound, so take the time to watch the episode on NBC online if you haven’t already.

This episode didn’t do that much better in terms of character development, but I guess six or so individual scenes of all the characters advances the storyline as much as six episodes focused on each of the characters, so it is what it is. I found myself becoming increasingly critical of the episode until about 4/5 of the way through, where the ending finally brought the point of the spliced storylines together, so hopefully next week begins with a more developed story than the splintering format readily apparent in the first two episodes. The ending certainly made up for much of the episode, and it leaves me more optimistic the initial success of the show can be maintained.

Rather than give a brief rundown of the episode's high and low points, I will simply continue with my portrayal of the characters and explain the episode through that way (since that is how much of the episode progressed anyway).

General characteristics of the characters: If you have powers and are one of the “good guys,” expect to have some sort of police involvement. Conversely, if you’re one of the “bad guys” (real or potentially), expect to get away with murder.

The “Don’t Look Back” episode introduced the name of the villain (Silar), who may or may not be the Agent described in my previous reviews. The bomb in the city apparently takes place November 8, so at least they don’t plan on dragging that particular storyline out that long, but that means that they will save the day then (at the 1/3 of the season mark) and likely postpone this apocalyptic event until later in the season (possibly a cliffhanger).

The Heroes continue their journey of discovery:
Professor X: finds a flash drive containing the super secret method of tracking all the heroes. Not surprisingly, another incompetent goon of the “counter-hero agency” (the “Agency”) fails to make this discovery and is defeated at the threat of fire extinguisher and a petite British woman.

Isaac Mendez, artist of the stars: Survives his overdose before we discover his ability appears to be limited to seeing everybody’s death but his own. Or is it? As I predicted, he is the creator of the 9th wonder comic book.

The Agent (who may or may not be Silar, the evil mutant serial killer): his power this week is the amazing ability to rob a high school kid without tipping his hand. In doing so, he discovers that his adopted daughter (the cheerleader) has one of these evolutionary genetic markers he’s seeking to destroy (or convert to his own use).

If you use your powers for good, expect some sort of police or medical involvement:
Claire the adopted cheerleader: save a life and be lined up for an odd interrogation with the rest of your cheerleader friends only to have your cheerleader nemesis take the credit. (See gripe 1 below). I can only assume that the nemesis will face some sort of retribution from the Agency as a result. I hope to be surprised that this doesn’t happen.

Matt Parkman, the psychic cop. Likeable character; his talent and character is a cross between “What Women Want” and Carl Winslow. His brush in with the law is that his psychic ability implicates him in a vicious crime. I’m sure he’ll be able to think his way out of it.

The Fly and The Fly II (senator-elect): Not too much this episode. In the end, there was a moment very reminiscent of a scene from The Heavenly Kid where the ‘Fonz guy is trying to convince the other guy (who turns out to be his son) that he’s an angel. Apparently it takes concentration to fly before it becomes second nature, kind of like Ghost. His first “attempted suicide” lands him in the hospital.

Hiro the teleporter (“Prot”) : His secondary power is the ability to pick up conversational English almost as fast as he can travel across the globe. I guffawed at his using yen to pay for the comic book (this means it was not that clever). Hopefully next week he learns the lesson of not picking up incriminating evidence.

If you use your powers for bad, no consequences:
Niki ("Don't call me a stripper" Sanders: Until I see a need to otherwise, I will refer to her split personality as “Ikin.” Ikin seems to be good at covering up a lot of stuff, and Niki goes right along with it without asking questions. Her ex-husband is mentioned again as being “on the run” – she probably could win on an insanity defense. I maintain my criticism of her super power as being a front to schizophrenia.

Conclusion:
The end of the episode at least starts to tie the semblance of a television-worthy plot together. I hope they do a better job with the character development next week, and I think the psychic cop’s character has the potential of bringing them all together once Hiro can bust him out of prison. Assuming that this snag remedies itself in the first few scenes of next week’s episode, it appears the Fly and his brother may be sharing the “central character to the plot” role with the psychic cop (nickname forthcoming).

Addendum (Gripe one):
Somehow the writers forgot that cheerleaders don’t practice on the football field, and most coaches frown upon non-athletes walking through practice. If you’re going to have a high school storyline, Dawson’s Creek is not the model to use and neither is Saved by the Bell. I can only assume that whoever scripted this must have dreamed of being an athlete because they certainly didn’t get it right. And fyi, the cheerleaders in high school generally wear their uniforms on days of football, basketball games, key wrestling matches, or pep rallies, not for practice.

If Heroes is going to keep going with this high school storyline, and I’m not saying they should or should not, I suggest the writers hire the varsity club president of some local high school to help consult with them during his or her offseason or get him or her to make a recommendation of someone who can make the show's portrayal of high school a little more believable. The last thing we need on tv is another Laguna Beach, since that's real life. I saw that Heroes is produced by “Tailwind productions," which uses a pole vaulter for their icon, which is great. On the assumption that this company must have some roots in track & field, then I'm going to assume further that someone connected to the show participated in *varsity* athletics at the high school or college level, and they must be insulted by this misleading portrayal of high school life/sports.

Other observations: I must have seen three or four x-men commercials. Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one? Aren’t they trying to distinguish Heroes from X-Men?

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Friday, September 29, 2006

Shark: LAPD Blue review

Quick review: Not bad, but not great either. All in all, the show is starting to grow on me. Catch it on CBS's Innertube if you missed it; bear in mind, it appears CBS only keeps it online until the next new episode airs. From my quick glance to get a couple of things for this review, I noticed they still haven't fixed the volume of the commercials.

This week's show takes place about two months after Stark has been a member of the LA county DA's office. In this sense, at least it's trying to respect the idea that so called "big trials" don't come around that often. Also, since my weekly poker game got cancelled last night, I certainly appreciated watching how he goaded the AG (or whatever his role is) into betting into whatever high percentage draw he was on in order to make their office a little bigger. Speaking of poker games, I did catch some of the WSOP final table and just found it entertaining that the chip leader (and eventual winner) used his 9:1 or whatever amount he had to simply splash in every time and then force the rest of the table to make a definitive move or get out.

Anyway, "LAPD Blue" was about a cop killer and how Stark's crackpot team of attorneys were going to take on the defendant, who coincidentally is being represented by one of Stark's former protégés (who he had fired for losing a case 7 years earlier). As you may have suspected, the State lucks out as this guy winds up taking a plea agreement. Good for them.

It's amazing how easy it is for television shows to play on the court's discretion to have a motion go in the way they need it to. The judges may or may not wind up being more pro-state or pro-defendent, it doesn't really matter since they don't appear to be playing a central character role in this particular law series, and that's good. While I question the need for the state on this show to win at all costs (e.g., forging a document to get probable cause under those circumstances and trying to determine how to deal with the mandatory disclosure of the exculpatory evidence they came across), I suppose I can set aside my disbelief for the story itself and instead focus on the ultimate argument they wound up presenting. I think that given the screw up, in real life, the charges probably would have been dropped as they suggested, but we all know that television mirrors life, so whatever.

As far as the advancement of the overall plot and general character development, at least they started to get into it a bit this time, which is why I think the show has potential. They also toned down the whole father-daughter storyline to the level I think necessary for this type of show. As far as character development, it could have done a little better, but they are getting there, and if they did it, well, hopefully Heroes will be able to do the same thing in its second episode. Since I don't watch these lawyer shows for any of these reasons, however, I think I will reserve my concluding remarks by saying that it still did well to show a couple compelling arguments, although very poor direct examination (in the beginning).

There were a few one liners that were pretty funny - the only one I can really remember is "Fortune favors the bold." (which isn't that funny, I know, but worth remembering). The "stick a bandaid under your bleeding heart if you want to win" line was pretty good also.

I will probably watch a few more of these episodes and if I feel so inclined, will write down my thoughts. In case I do not bother to, however (which I think is a high probability), my general recommendation for Shark is positive.

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Thursday, September 28, 2006

The anatomy of a successful television drama

While I do not feel the need to rebut any of the comments of any reader of my Heroes pilot review, the use of the colloquial word “snarky” in one of the comments (which Webster’s online dictionary describes as “crotchety” or “snappish,” but may also mean “sarcastic, impertinent, or irreverent”) implies that this reader missed the entire point of my review, and based on those same comments, somehow thinks my review will carry an irreparable blow against the series. Although flattering, I do not see that as the case.

Heroes is okay. It’s not world beating, and it’s certainly not original by any stretch of the imagination. Unless by original, you mean the idea of humans developing these specific super powers has never been on a live action television show, then yes, it is a new development on an age-old theme. To the extent that my initial assumption presumes that Heroes will, at best, have a two-season run, it only comes from my reaction after watching the pilot. Heroes appears to have fallen into the trap of those types of shows with little-to-no character development. Whether Heroes overcomes this hurdle and ultimately succeeds remains to be seen, and I will watch a few more episodes to determine whether the first show was just a fluke.

I. Preliminary matters
Before I get into the generalities of a successful television drama (comedies are a whole other ball of wax), let me first agree with the commentator’s point that the science fiction genre has a smaller audience base to begin with. This may be a preliminary strike against Heroes, but obviously NBC’s relevant committee thought it had enough potential to develop, so I will likewise not count its genre against it either. That being said, for Heroes, or any show for that matter, to truly capture an audience, several things need to happen. See, e.g., Desperate Housewives season 1, Twin Peaks, or the season of “Who Shot J.R.” on Dallas. It is no different than what makes for a successful book or movie.

For much of my explanation, I will be citing Lost as a primer for a successful television show, although I do not by any means imply that success naturally follows from the cookie cutter formula I present. I distinguish these remarks concerning dramas from comedies because comedies don’t really have the same problems - the most successful comedies simply never really advance time nor have to. This can’t be done in a drama, but television time obviously can be slowed down considerably (e.g, 24, Lost). For most typical dramas, however, (e.g., Wonder Years, Dawson’s Creek, Gilmore Girls, etc.), time marches on, and the characters grow up (or get pregnant) and the storyline has to adjust for that for better or for worse.

II. The commonalities of a successful show
Linear time problems aside, all a show needs to succeed is two things: character development and a compelling plot (and audience relatability/believability as to both). You can apply this theory to every successful television show, movie, or book, and they all have it (even Harry Potter, whose reader/watcher audience can relate to in their probable hopes that they are born to do something great, and the whole good v. evil theme most people can understand as well). I also think that online media presents a third unique way of drawing a broader audience in and fostering success, and I allude to this possibility toward the end of my commentary.

A. Character Development
First, the success of any drama, science fiction or otherwise, depends in large part to character development and the audience’s ability to relate to them. Thus, primary to a show succeeding in today’s society, it must be able to capture its intended audience through its characters, and it must do so quickly. The characters are the ones telling the story in any number of ways. Like most bands who have only five members, the optimal range for a show has only four to six characters; with many more than that, it becomes difficult for the audience to follow and start rooting for any one character. Obviously, there are exceptions (case in point, Lost, which succeeds because it made the Island, a non-speaking or actual character, central to the plot).

The large cast of Heroes, in contrast to Lost, may work to its detriment. I just feel that the seemingly large cast, given the way the pilot developed, makes it difficult to believe the series will be able to develop adequately any one character such that the general 18-49 demographic (or elder demographic) will relate. In other words, they just tried to do too much in a very short amount of time, and I think that in such cases, there are other, more effective methods. Maybe the jumping around and multiple character storylines will change over the next five episodes. If it does not, I don’t see its share increasing for its time slot or really surviving past more than one season.

B. Theme
The second key to a drama’s ultimate success and at least as important as character development is that the audience must be hooked into a believable theme almost instantly, and this theme must pervade the pilot episode. Granted, for any television show, science fiction or otherwise, you’re going to have to suspend belief a bit (and sometimes more than a bit). For Grey’s Anatomy, you knew the friction between the central characters instantly (general theme: love and work; target market = 18-49 women and their husbands). For Lost, you knew the plane crashed and something else was on the island (general theme: mystery, survival – examination of humanity in a Lord of the Flies type manner; target 18-49 men and women). For 24, you knew some bad shit was about to go down (general theme: good v. evil; target 18-49 men). And so forth.

For science fiction shows, you not only have to capture initially an audience beyond those who like the genre, you have to convince them to suspend an incredible amount of disbelief. The possibilities for success are certainly there (e.g., the Spiderman movies, or any other comic book type movie that grossed better than $100 million). For a weekly television show, however, asking the audience to suspend disbelief requires almost a leap of faith, which can be accomplished effectively and completely only through trust (hence, the importance of character development).

Take a show like Medium, for example. While talking to ghosts seems far-fetched to the casual viewer, the idea of police departments using psychics can be squared in the realm of possibility if it were true, and this show simply elaborates on that initial presumption. If the characters in the show believe it (after some convincing sometimes), the audience will tend to believe it. It’s the same way people can watch Jack Bauer evade every attempt at his life through various criminal ineptitudes (see Austin Powers for their take on this when Scott asks Dr. Evil why he just doesn’t shoot him). How Medium tries to capture the larger audience, however, and how it does an admirable job of doing so (despite the crutch of its time slot) is through its development of the Alison’s character beyond her “gift”: Medium is really about the struggle of a mother and wife trying to balance her work and talents that go with it along with her family. I submit that more people can relate with that in the 18-49 demographic than those who can relate with the ability to talk with ghosts, and it could probably carry a 9 PM Tuesday slot rather than Monday at 10 (or whenever it will be airing if and when it does come back).

Unlike Medium, however, Heroes faces an uphill battle because the pilot failed to engage the audience into developing any sort of meaningful relationship with any of the characters. This isn’t fatal, but maybe it would have been worthwhile to develop it online a bit and then air the show – think lonelygirl. NBC blew their initial attempt at doing this, but I am cautiously optimistic they can recover.

1. The importance of storyboarding
Furthermore, for a well-themed story (and Heroes certainly has this potential) to develop itself fully, the writers essentially have to have the entire storyboard for the series written in order to a) provide consistency for the individual plots, and b) to convey to the audience (through various connections) where they are going. It helps develop trust of the characters and encourages a deeper suspension of disbelief and desire to find out “what happens next.” This obviously was done with Lost, and it may have been done with Heroes; it just remains to be seen. What I mean by this element may be better described as “believability-B” – meaning every episode serves a purpose to advance the overall storyline.

Too many shows on television do not plan ahead for this. Case in point, Alias. Alias had a great storyline that ran through the entire first season and despite some Felicity-esque deviations, concluded with the takedown of SD-6. I suspect that the Rambaldi plot (which reappeared toward the end of the fifth season) had meant to conclude around this time as well, but when ABC signed onto another two years, they had to figure out a way to drag it along. If I had to speculate, I would say that JJ Abrams must have thought, "well, I’m ready to move onto another project and yet I’ve been roped into this one for another couple of seasons. I know, I will create another double agent and another shadow organization and largely duplicate the storyline from the first season." Genius! (read: sarcasm, but good for him for making a ton of money either way off it). The end result to this point is that the storyline had to be stretched out much longer than it probably should have been and the latter seasons simply fell off the scale of the already generously suspended disbelief the show called for.

For Heroes, you saw a guy jumping off a building and then all of a sudden he’s waking up, and then you’re in India. While this jumping around does have its merits in the movies, it does not translate as well to the small screen. Obviously, you know what the show is about from the previews; the jumping around in the pilot of Heroes, however, simply didn’t advance the plot significantly or appropriately develop the theme of the series or its characters to capture the general audience. Further, the theme did not even materialize until the end of the episode, and even then, if you weren’t paying attention, you would have missed it. I can suspend disbelief to a lot of things, and assuming my views represent the average 18-49 viewer, the limits of disbelief suspension weren’t even reached in this episode. As I mentioned in the subsequent pilot review, the Heroes generally are pretty reluctant, and I feel this reluctant hero theme, while okay, has been beaten down as of late. Other than the teleporter and the guys who fly (or will fly), the heroes don’t really want this power that has (to my understanding) come out of nowhere. It’s just tough to relate to, even if you can suspend the disbelief of such evolutionary jumps.

Even though the exact theme of Heroes came out in the end, the idea that they were coming together was hinted at throughout the episode, and this is what led me to give it a six episode run. My disagreement with the writer’s theory of plot development is just an opinion; there are many ways it could have been done, and this was simply one of several. Obviously the central plot/theme is that these “Heroes” have developed power, largely concurrently, and by hook or by crook they will be brought together for the common good. A good old American heroes theme. Nothing wrong with that; people can relate because many have superman/superwoman type complexes. But too many cooks can spoil the pot, and too many storylines can spoil the plot. As such, and not to keep beating on the point, but I found the pilot both difficult to relate to any individual character, and I’m just not sure if the plot of “saving NYC” by banding together can carry through an entire season. Again, maybe I will be proven wrong, which is why I think the show at least merits a few more watches.

2. The maximum stretch of any storyline
This being said, a single storyline of a show today can probably be advanced to its logical completion within three seasons. Even the most successful dramas ratings peaks last only three to five seasons at best, and usually by the fifth (if it makes it that far), its general audience’s interest level has already begun to decline (I would point to the inconsistencies of 24’s various seasons as one example, and Alias’s final two seasons from the cloning plot on as another example). Supposedly Lost is following this premise, as JJ Abrams has apparently not signed on for a fourth season. I tend to hope this is the case as I am not sure they can keep dragging this story much longer.

Given the assumption that most storylines can’t be extended past one or two seasons (e.g., Desperate Housewives), I believe that for a successful show to carry ratings past that and still be able to compete with popular “variety” shows such as American Idol, the storyline must be compelling, and also one which draws the audience in. Mysteries seem to have done well these past few years, other stories, while so-called critically acclaimed ones (e.g., Jack and Bobby, Dead Like Me) tend to falter. I would go as far to say these so-called failures may simply have been cursed from the start by the network or time slot. The pilots on the major three networks with initial success tend to instantly receive an increase in publicity to develop further the audience base and increase ratings, and those shows that receive lower ratings initially are effectively left to die in a sort of “I told you so” manner. I’m not sure what the need to cut loose is, but nevertheless, it’s a president’s prerogative.

I don’t mean to imply by these latter comments that only mysteries succeed in television dramas; I am only stating that the audience must be captivated to the storyline such that they must see how it continues from week to week and mysteries have a greater likelihood of doing so. Action shows like 24 (Season 1 toward the end, Season 2, and Season 4) and Alias (season 1) also do a good job of engaging the audience; the drawback is that missing an episode in such serial shows acts as a deterrence to continue watching the series. Online media has effectively resolved this problem.

Whether Heroes can succeed with its storyline remains to be seen. They have five episodes to capture my attention with their potentially compelling storyline and potentially relatable characters, and if they do not, I will simply engage my free time with a (hopefully) more productive outlet. I can’t imagine I am the only one who watches tv this way; whether my remarks are representative of the 18-49 demographic generally or just an unmarketable segment of it does not matter to me in the least. I’m just using it to give me something to do when I need a break.

III. Conclusion
In conclusion, for a show like Heroes to succeed with such a massive character base and loose plot, it will have to develop the characters and focus the plot in such a fashion that encourages a broader audience to be compelled to continue watching the series. I suggest that an easy means for this to be accomplished would be to air an exclusive online scene (five to ten minutes) that supplements/advances the plot, but not so much that you have to watch it online.

As far as I know, no television show has adapted this type of strategy; Lost comes closest with its online game. I suspect that the time is near when all shows will eventually engage in this particular marketing scheme; perhaps NBC will use Heroes to bring itself to the forefront in this realm in order to captivate further a wider audience, supplement its storyline, and survive past its initial six episode run. We shall see.

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