New Indiana Jones Movie - mildly entertaining, but not worth the $10

I finally got around to seeing the new Indiana Jones movie this weekend. I had heard from initial reviews that it was okay, and even from a couple of my friends that it was entertaining, and I figured, "hey, it's Indiana Jones, of course I'm going to go see it in the theater." After watching it, I can state unequivocally that Steven Spielberg and George Lucas tested the limits of how much I was willing to suspend my disbelief and continue watching solely because it was Indiana Jones from within the first few minutes of the movie, and by the end, I can state without exaggeration or hyperbole that they succeeded. For my explanation of why each major scene required more and more eye rolling,

Spoilers follow. It's probably easier to simply give this movie a breakdown by scene, which you may think is listed by level of ridiculous, but is chronological. Keep in mind, all of this is ignoring the fact that this movie is about aliens and a psychic warfare plan designed by those pesky 50s commies. I must pay tribute to my friend Keith who had a bit in college that the fourth sequel of any movie takes place in space or has an alien element to it (e.g., Leprechaun 4, Star Wars), although the bit has fallen apart slightly with the latest trend in remaking movies like Rambo and Die Hard.

1. Shortly after his escape from the Russian agents, Indy wonders onto a nuclear testing ground. To escape the pending nuclear detonation, he jumps into a lead lined refrigerator, which happens to be thrown from the blast cite onto the desert ground presumably miles away from radiation and at 700 mph. He survives and steps out in time to see the mushroom cloud balloon into the sunset. Since this is within the first 10 minutes of the movie, I figure, okay, it's Indiana Jones, I'll let it slide. How little did I know.

2. The motorcycle chase through the library. If you saw it, you'll know what I mean when I say this was pretty silly.

3. Using a snake to pull him from quicksand (or whatever he called it).

4. The monkeys scene with the kid. This was about the time my bs meter simply stopped working.

5. The giant ants. One of my friends said that the name of the ants used in the movie actually come from Africa, which sort of gives some credit to earlier rumors that the movie was going to span all seven continents.

6. The aliens in the end. What was the point? The ship got up and sailed away, in a scene that was reminiscent of Close Encounters of the Third Kind or E.T.. Treasure is knowledge? Now I've seen it all. I would put the wedding scene in the end in as well, but by that point, it simply fit in with the theme of the movie. I wouldn't have been surprised if Jar-Jar binks came out to challenge them to a pod race. I also would not have been surprised if Neo came out and said "no."

Other things that were probably more entertaining for kids than adults: the woods chase scene, the big saw blades slicing through the car, the sword fight, the car landing on the branch and then going in the water, and then the branch hitting the people on the cliff, the waterfall, the final scene with hat rolling to his kid, but being picked up by him. I thought that because the last Indiana Jones was 20 years ago, that that may have skewed my perspective somewhat, but figured I would list these points nonetheless.

But the real winner in this movie is Sean Connory. I was a little disappointed when I first heard that he was not going to come out of retirement to reprise his role as Indy's father. After watching the movie, however, I am more convinced that he read through the script and thought, I'm going to sit back and take the check for them using my picture instead.

Overall, the movie is probably worth watching in the comfort of your own home than going to the theater. After all, it is Indiana Jones. But even if you like Indiana Jones and are ambivalent about a sequel and say you'll stomach this new movie, there aren't any giant explosions or anything redeeming about it that makes this movie worth watching in the theater. Compared to the other three, the world (but not one's pockets) would have been just as well off had there not been a sequel, as is often the case.

Movies left that I plan on watching this summer: The Happening, Hancock. I'm sequeled out, so I probably will wait for the new Batman movie until it comes on HBO. I also heard Iron Man was good, but I can wait for that one. Overall, it seems (so far) like a pretty lame movie summer, but who knows what will come out and pique my interest.

Also, there was a trailer for some goofy Brad Pitt movie trailer (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button). Talk about a trailer that you can watch and know exactly the plot from start to finish and make a snap judgment call on why it's not worth watching.

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